
one but the truth of the matter is our lives are filled with numerous instances of grief. A few examples where grieving commonly takes place would be the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, loss of a pet, loss of good health, or having to let go of a cherished possession. Additionally, events that take place on a larger scale such as natural disasters or terrorist attacks, can, and often do, cause people to grieve at the loss of personal possessions and their feeling of safety and security. The truth of the matter is when anything of significance is taken away from us we grieve. Once the grief process kicks in a myriad of unfamiliar and confusing emotions and behaviors can, and often do occur. Grief reactions vary markedly from person to person, persisting anywhere from a couple of weeks to many years; depending on the emotional bond and length of the triggering event combined with the personality traits of the grieving person. Signs and symptoms include disturbed sleep patterns; tightness or pain in the chest or throat; poor concentration; difficulty completing tasks; disorientation to space and time; digestive upset; headaches; withdrawal from social activities; loss of interest in regular daily routines; sighing; periods of crying; teariness; anger; resentment; bitterness; loss of interest in intimacy; and mood swings. The Four Phases of Grief
its full emotional toll and as the individual comes to terms with the loss. There is no set time for how long a person spends in any given stage. Additionally, the grieving person may move back and forth between two or more stages or not follow the expected order of grieving. The first stage of the process is referred to as denial and protest. In this stage the grieving person may struggle to come to terms with the realization as to what has happened.
during conversations, only picking up a small portion of what is said. This stage usually occupies the first days or weeks after the triggering event. The second stage is despair. As the full pain of what has been lost is felt, the grieving person has recurring thoughts, dreams, or even nightmares of what has happened. If the triggering event was the death of a family member of close friend they may even hear his or her voice. Anger is common during this stage and may be expressed both inwardly and outwardly, having no particular boundaries as to who or what may be feel their rage. The third stage is depression. It is not surprising that depression would rare its ugly head at some point. The third stage lasts the longest, typically lasting for months, or even years. The grieving person may have difficulty sleeping through the night or may want to do nothing but sleep. Social withdrawal commonly exists during the depressive phase of the grieving process. Usually there is little motivation to perform ordinary tasks inside the home, and even less interest in participating in activities which take place outside the home. The final stage is referred to as resolution and acceptance. In this final act of this long running play the ominous storm clouds of grief begin to lift. At this point the grieving person can talk about what has happened without crying or feeling guilty, and once again start to regain the capacity to take pleasure in living life. While the fires of those old memories may be kindled from time to time, the individual is able to continue with his or her life despite what has happened in the past. What You Are Feeling Is Unique
your grieving process will be different from that of other people, even those experiencing the same kind of loss. Every person’s life is unique, filled with a roller coaster of emotions and experiences, so, too, is one’s grief journey.
on an individual’s personality, the situation surrounding the loss, previous losses, the social support network which exists, and the nature of the relationship with the person lost, or the attachment to what was lost. A person may experience several or only a few of the many symptoms which accompany the grieving process, and there is no set order in which they should occur. Traveling Down The Bumpy Road As you gradually work through the weeds which have engulfed you both physically and emotionally you may feel as if you’re traveling a long, winding path with no specific destination or end in sight. But eventually things will change and some resemblance of normalcy and clarity will return. Many factors will shape your journey, and some may even complicate it. Encountering highs and lows along the way is normal and healthy, as is backtracking, as long as you feel you are making progress overall. That said, if the road you are traveling only seems to be getting bumpier by the day, or if you feel stalled or stranded at any point, seeking the help or advice from a mental health professional or clergy specializing in grief counseling could be an option worth considering.
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